


We’re Coming Out (aka Your Boyfriend Gives Great Head)

by truelyesoteric



Series: Not Quite Slash [6]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared thinks its time to come out. They mostly do</p>
            </blockquote>





	We’re Coming Out (aka Your Boyfriend Gives Great Head)

**Author's Note:**

> LJ repost circa 2009

“I’m thinking we should come out of the closet,” Jared announced.

Jensen continued to type out a text message, “I didn’t realize we were in one.”

Jared’s hand slipped further up his leg.

Jared sighed, long and suffering because Jensen never noticed the obvious, “We need to announce our delicious faggery.”

Jensen thought for a moment, “I really don’t think you should use that word.”

“Why not?” Jared asked, “We’re gay and we should take back the word.”

“I really don’t think we should,” Jensen decided.

“Whatever,” Jared waved his hand, “I find this closet stifling and I want to meet your parents.”

Jensen looked at him incredulously, “We’re not in a closet and you’ve met my parents, my sister, my brother, and my grandmother.”

“It’s a metaphor Jensen,” Jared said very slowly, as if that were to make a difference.

Jensen’s look only deepened, “You want to metaphorically meet my parents.”

Jared grinned, “Exactly.”

There really was nothing to combat that with.

“Sure Jared,” Jensen agreed and went back to his texting.

“I just think we should be out, all the cool kids are doing it,” Jared said, stealing a cookie and having Jensen grab it away.

“I am out,” Jensen informed him.

“What,” Jared said momentarily forgetting he wanted a cookie, “Since when? You just go around telling people you’re gay?”

Jensen considered his current possession of the cookie a victory.

“Not everyone, just family and friends,” Jensen told him, “I kind of had to when I moved into a one bedroom with Kyle.”

“Your ex roommate,” Jared said momentarily mesmerized by Jensen’s lips and that cookie.

Jensen looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow, “Don’t be dumb Padalecki.”

“Oh,” Jared said realizing that grip Kyle who they occasionally would have beers with back before Jared knew that Jensen liked guys, was actually Jensen’s ex.

He did not like this information so much.

“Remind me again if he still lives in Vancouver,” Jared tried to play this lightly.

“You know he moved with his boyfriend to raise labradoodles in Oregon,” Jensen replied, “Stop trying to plot the demise of my exes.”

Jared tried to look innocent, “Okay no maiming, but can I do some heavy glaring?”

“If that is what floats your boat,” Jensen said with a flip of his hand, “If on the off occasion we ever see him he’s all yours to glare at.”

Jared rubbed his hands together evilly, “You really are the best boyfriend ever.”

Jensen just absentmindedly patted his knee.

Jared thought for a moment and Jensen steadied himself for the entirely irrational thing that would come next.

Jared picked up his phone, “Hi Megan I’m dating Jensen.

This was simply life with Jared, Jensen was well used to it by now.

“Yes seriously I love him.”

Jensen went back to texting while rolling his eyes.

“”She wondering why you would date me,” Jared informed him moments later, “She thinks that you can do better.”

“Tell her that one about the internet,” Jensen said blandly.

Jared was already back to talking to his sister, “No this is not a phase…no California didn’t turn me gay. I’m in Canada…no Canada didn’t turn me gay…for the love of Christ Jensen didn’t gay me, but thanks for understanding the appeal.”

He was now rolling his eyes.

Jensen wisely tuned them out.

Jared covered his phone with his big hands and turned to Jensen, “Oh yeah, Chad is playing Castiel’s friend, that fallen angel in the next episode.”

Jensen stopped and looked up at Jared, “Doesn’t he have a show, you know like a job?”

“He has co-stars. He’s in some diabetic coma after some girl who claimed to be Dan’s other daughter shot him up with too much insulin and an airbubble, it is threatening to burst his heart and Brooke realizes she is still in love with him. Sophia is pissed so he wants to leave for a little bit,” Jared whispered and returned to talking into his phone that Jensen wasn’t convinced was actually attached to other people, “Megan everyone thinks Brad Pitt is hot, gayness has nothing to do with it.”

Jared paused and listened to his sister and then turned to Jensen, “Dude are we getting married.”

Jensen went back to the text messaging, “Not this week dear.”

Jared made a face and returned to talking to Megan, “Jensen and I will talk about marriage after we address the pet naming problem he has for me…No Megan you cannot blog about it.”

Jensen shook Jared’s arm, “Can we go back to the Chad thing?”

Jared made some kind of wild motioning to the phone, “Jensen I’m on the phone.”

**

Chad was on the Supernatural set for all of two minutes.

He took one look at Jared and turned on Jensen, “You break his heart and I will end you. He’s kind of a big puppy and his heart is way beyond what you should be allowed to touch so if you hurt him I will bury you next to the last guy who fucked with him.”

Jensen was strangely intimidated and taken aback.

“Stop giving Jensen the speech,” Jared said pulling Jensen towards him, “We’re out of the closet, and while my family calls this ‘another Jared phase’ right now we’re in love. Marriage has been spoke of.”

Chad halted and considered this, “I will really end you.”

Jared nodded in agreement, “He will, he nearly broke Milo’s arm.”

Jensen noted this fact and looked around for anyone offering coffee before realization hit.

“Wait you slept with Milo?”

Chad sighed, “He didn’t sleep with him, but there was some angry fucking going on. There was bruising and everything.”

Jensen didn’t even think, “I’m killing Milo.”

“Heroes is a stupid show anyway,” Chad chimed in not noticing the ridiculously hypocritical nature of that comment.

Jared just looked at the two of them, “Are you agreeing about something?”

“Of course not,” they both said immediately.

“Whatever,” Chad said throwing off anything, “I’m glad you’re gay, more babes for me.”

Jensen glared at him, “You’re engaged.”

“Whatever.”

**

“Chad is ruining my sex life,” Jensen moaned as Tom and Mike tried to look sympathetic.

“Now you are ruining mine,” Tom said as he thought about the fact that Jensen had called him and insisted that they hang out since Jared was occupied.

“Come take Chad for a few days, a few hours at least,” Jensen begged and motioned for more beer in an attempt to appease them.

Mike got that gleam in his eye.

Jensen crumpled, “Oh my gawd we are going to be trying to find tutus again.”

“You know I’m not working,” Mike pointed out the obvious since he was so not on Smallville anymore.

Jensen realized at that moment he may never have sex again.

In the near future.

“You know since I’m not working I think I should come and hang out on the set with you guys,” Mike pondered.

“Why are you even in Vancouver,” Jensen asked, wondering how this alcohol thing was going to save him because his friends were not helpful.

“Tommy had a problem with some people with some things and need help and you know how it goes with Horticulture and crystal skiving. You know the norm.”

Jensen never really understood this mostly because he chose not to. Mike spoke a language that didn’t exist.

 

**

Chad and Mike somehow were joined at the hip. Chad was playing a cocky ex-angel who was now a hedonistic asshole, who also was the center of their finding out about why Dean was so important.

“Our character’s lives depend on Chad,” Jensen sighed wearily.

“The world is doomed,” Jared agreed, “Where is Chad anyway?”

Jensen perked up, “He isn’t here?”

Jared pulled a face, “He’s with Mike I’m sure.”

For a grand total of six seconds Jensen debated whether sex with Jared in the twenty minutes they had was worth leaving Mike and Chad together.

Jensen shrugged.

Chad and Mike together was inevitable, sex was necessary at this point.

**

“You know what the most annoying thing about Jensen and Jared are?” Chad sighed.

“Their rabid fans who worship them, the fact that anyone can see they’re pretty, the fact that they are blessed by god and have had no trouble in Hollywood, the fact that they found that person to complete them, the fact that they have clothes they’d want to steal from wardrobe,” Mike guessed, “Stop me any time, I’ve got a cache.”

Chad just shook his head, “The fact that they close the car doors at the same time, ever time. It’s like its second nature now.

Mike thought for a moment, “That IS really really annoying.”

Chad looked thoughtfully at the array of Lincoln Logs and Legos, “We should throw them a coming out party.”

“They don’t want to come out come out,” Mike said peering at the rows of Barbies.

“Then lets throw them a coming out party and not tell them,” Chad suggested.

“We’re going to have a surprise coming out party where it’s the people coming out who are surprised?” Mike said looking duly impressed.

“Yes,” Chad tapped his fingers together, “Brilliant.”

**

Jared and Jensen did not want to be doing this. Somehow they found themselves wearing jeans and a t-shirt, going to a huge hall that Mike had rented.

They walked into a room and there was an over abundance of pink. There were many multiple phallic objects and of course their mothers and siblings were in full attendance.

“Perfect,” Jensen muttered.

Mike came forward with Megan and Mackenzie under his arms, both of them were wearing shirts that said ‘My Brother’s Boyfriend Is Hot.’

“Dear sweet fucking lord doing the hula in hell,” Jensen muttered turning red.

Jared blinked repeatedly.

“Welcome to your coming out party!!!” Chad said blowing a ridiculous horn.

Jared stilled and Jensen looked at him, “You are absolutely no longer allowed to talk to Chad.”

As with everything Chad was not phased. Instead he simply wrapped an arm around Jensen, “Don’t be that guy. You know you love me. Besides Jared wants to come out.

Jensen swallowed, “Yeah you know what we weren’t planning on taking out an ad in People magazine.”

Megan and Mac kissed Mike’s cheek and then went to the Padalecki and Ackles families.

Mike gestured to the gathered crowd in the very Barbie Pink room with the decorations that quite obviously were penises.

“Jenny calm down,” Mike said in his most soothing voice, “Look at this room. Nobody here already doesn’t know about your big epic gay romance.”

Jensen saw that it was true. The room was a collection of people from the cast and crew and a few from California who Jensen and Jared trusted.

“Ohh there is Kyle,” Jared said with glee, glaring archly.

“Stop that,” Jensen said swatting at Jared.

“You said I could,” Jared whined.

“Can you wait for the glaring until after we find out why our mothers are in a room full of pink penises.”

“Bet that is a sentence that you never thought that you’d say,” Mike said earnestly.

Chad came up and managed to lace Jared and Jensen’s hands together.

“We just wanted you to be in a place with people who love you where you don’t feel ashamed of holding hands and making us all sick,” Chad said seriously.

Jensen opened his mouth and nothing came out.

Jared looked at him, “Are you ashamed of me?”

Jensen just looked at the room and the people assembled, drinking pink champagne and sighed. In their own way Chad and Mike were actually trying to be good friends.

So Jensen did the only thing that he could do. He kissed Jared within an inch of his life, until he felt Mike pulling him away from Jensen.

“You might not want to dry hump your boyfriend in front of your mother,” Mike announced, “Just because you are gay doesn’t mean that you can give up public decency. Don’t be those guys.”

Jared just looked at Jensen with a sheepish grin that could light the known universe.

Jensen sighed, “Do you want to metaphorically meet my mother?”

Jared bounced on his feet, “Yes baby.”

Jensen rolled his eyes and lead Jared to where their mothers were talking and laughing.

“Momma,” Jensen said, “I want you to meet my boyfriend.”

Donna looked confused, “Hi Jared how are the dogs?”

Jared grabbed her into a huge hug, “Momma Ackles so good to meet you.”

Sharon just looked at the scene in front of you.

Jensen put his arm around Sharon’s waist, “Tell me the truth. You dropped him on his head a few times as a child.”

Sharon swatted at him.

Jared still held Donna Ackles, looking like he had been given everything in the entire universe.

Mike came up to them, “Dance. Hold hands. Grope a bit, but not too much. Kiss, but don’t use tongue.”

Jared left Jensen’s mother’s side and grabbed Jared’s hand.

“We’re out,” Jared said pulling his boyfriend onto the dance floor.

Jensen buried his head in Jared’s shoulder and when those arms went around him he couldn’t figure out how to be angry about this whole thing. Because he was in public dancing with Jared.

“I like being out,” Jared whispered.

“God I hate Chad and Mike,” Jensen muttered.

“I love you too baby,” Jared said flippantly.

Jensen thought about it for a moment.

“I love you,” Jensen said clearly.

Because he could say it because in this room they were together and out.


End file.
